Please, Don't Leave
by Ayame2004
Summary: Luka and Alex wait for news of Sam's abduction. Will it be the news they were hoping for?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: yeah, jeez I haven't done this since I wrote X-files fics. Anyhow, I don't own the characters and hell some of my story ideas were based on other ideas. I don't claim them. If I used your idea in some way, I am sorry but I do not claim ownership. The songs, movies, and quotes in the story aren't mine either.

This is meant to pick up after the day in the therapist's office.

Chapter 1

The car ride home was horrific, not a word was said between the two of them. Luka silently convinced himself that everything would be ok while Sam contemplated running again. Sam absentmindedly flipped through the channels on the radio's preset. A song came on that she had heard once or twice before and she stopped on it.

"_Your heart is not open so I must go, _

_The spell has been broken, I loved you so._

_Freedom comes when you learn to let go_

_Creation comes when you learn to say no. _

_You were my lesson I had to learn_

_I was your fortress you had to burn. _

_Pain is a warning that something is wrong_

_I pray to God that it won't be long._

_Do you want to go higher?_"

Sam felt her heart stop at the lyrics. It was her and Luka to a tee. She glanced over at him momentarily. She could tell he was listening to the words. She saw his eyes begin to water. He knew things were rough. But what she couldn't understand was why he didn't try. 'Does he even love me anymore?' She asked herself over and over. 'Is this the end?'

"_There's nothing left to try_

_There's no place left to hide_

_There's no greater power, _

_than the power of Goodbye."_

She felt her own eyes begin to water. She never hurt this bad when she was with Steve. 'Of course I didn't love Steve like I love Luka.' She told herself.

Luka's heart was breaking. The song was depressing to say the least. 'I hope this isn't how Sam feels.' Deep down he knew, it was exactly how she felt. He loved her more than he ever thought he could. It wasn't like when he was with Abby, or Nicole. Hell Nicole didn't even compare to Sam. She was perfect and she was slipping through his fingertips. He had to do something. 'But what?' he asked himself. Nothing came to mind in response.

Finally, they reached the apartment. Once behind closed doors she let him have it.

"What is wrong with us? We can't be together if we don't talk!" She shouted at him. She hated being the forceful one of the relationship but Luka never seemed up to the role. It was a strange change that Sam still wasn't used to.

"What do you mean? We talk about work, Alex, anything you want to talk about." He replied, finding more and more difficult to look her in the eyes when he knew he was lying to her.

"No, Luka, we don't. Not about us and that's what's important. I can't keep playing these games. You won't let me in, it's like you don't trust me. Is that true?"

"No, that's not it. I trust you, it's hard. I don't know why you push it so hard."

"I push it Luka, because according to Abby, dying priests know more about you than I do. I just wish you would talk to me like that!" Luka was taken aback by that comment. He'd have to talk to Abby later about that tid bit of information he didn't think anyone knew. "Luka, the past is the past! If you want to be with me then look at the future! I can't keep competing with your dead family!" As soon as the words had come from her mouth she regretted it. The look on his face was devastating. He moved away from her, heading for the door.

"Luka, I'm sorry…All I want is for you to talk to me! Open up to me! Please!" He paused and looked at her. There was a tear falling down her face.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I am happy and I'm happy with you. I love you Sam. That's all I know to say." He left the apartment. She didn't know where he went but she felt he needed the time. The words that escaped her mouth echoed in her mind and she became increasingly more distraught as each minute passed.

Luka walked down the street to the El station, his mind reeling over what just happened. Did she really say that? Is that how she really feels? Does she think that I don't love her? He found himself doing something he only started doing when he was with Sam.

"Danjiela, I don't know what to do. Please, help me." He pled with her, begged her to help him end the growing pain that took over his heart. Just as the times before, there was no response. He eventually stumbled his way into a bar and took a seat.

The bartender chuckled when he saw Luka walk through the door. It was always the same thing, women troubles. He walked up to Luka asking what he wanted to drink and promptly serving him.

The alcohol helped him ease his mind after each shot he took. He knew he'd better stop but he couldn't. It had been trouble for him before but he didn't seem to care. What was one more drink anyway?

At the apartment, Sam lay awake worried about Luka. Alex had begged her to let him sleep over at a friend's house and she gave in easily. She didn't really want to put Alex through yet another fighting couple if Luka should happen to come home tonight.

When 3:30 had come and gone she began to think the worst. She grabbed her coat and headed out into the cold night to look for him. She was surprised when she saw that he hadn't taken his car, but then the EL wasn't that far away. She walked around for a while. Checking the EL to see if he was there thinking, like he used to do. Finally she returned home to collect the car keys and continue her search in a warmer setting.

The bartender threw him out a little after one o'clock, he'd been wandering around downtown Chicago fighting the inner battle that waged on about whether or not to go home or get a motel. The latter won over and he found a motel that was enough for him to crash for the night. He had no idea she was looking for him. He thought she was probably home, watching a movie or sleeping. He could never know what his decision was going to cost him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Where could he be?" The one question she couldn't answer kept replaying in her mind over and over again. Luka had left before but he always came back. She had really hurt him and she realized that now. She began to wonder if he was ever coming back. She stopped at a stop light and began to wonder, "What if I destroyed us? He will never forgive me for what I said. How could I be so cruel?" The light turned green.

She began to ease off the brake and hit the accelerator. She was mostly through the intersection when she heard the car blaring is horn. The roads were slick, the car couldn't stop. She didn't have time to react. The impact was quick and she felt pain for only a moment. Then there was nothing.

Abby was just about to leave when the called came in from the EMS. There was an accident and the woman involved was badly injured. She decided to stay around to help. She put her jacket on and met Carter outside to wait for it's arrival. Conversation for them had been limited since his return from the Congo, so they both had decided on small talk.

"I hate nights like these. Slick roads make for busy nights." Carter said to her smiling slightly.

"Yeah, but I could use the overtime." The lights of the ambulance were visible now as it pulled into the bay. The back doors quickly opened and the EMS team jumped out.

"26 year old MVA. BP is 70/40 pulse is 110. She lost consciousness at the scene and never regained. She looks familiar. I think she works at one of the hospitals." They pulled the woman from the back on a gurney and Abby took her first look at the critical patient before her.

"Oh my God, John! It's Sam! Page Luka now and let's get her inside!" she screamed to the nurse that had joined them. She would be here a lot longer than she thought.

Luka awoke around 5:00 in the morning to the vibration of his pager in his coat pocket. He forgot he had it. Mumbling in annoyance, he picked up the pager. The numbers were very familiar. It was the ER with 911 following it. He didn't think anything of it and picked up the phone to dial County General. Frank answered the phone.

"County General, ER"

"Frank, it's Luka. Did someone page me?"

"Shit, hang on." Luka heard Frank put the phone down and call for Carter. "It's Kovac, he doesn't know yet. He just got your page I guess" He could barely make it out but he heard enough .His pulse quickened. Was it Alex? Was he hurt? Sam would be there. Let me talk to her. His mind raced. Carter picked up the phone.

"Luka, where are you?"

"What's going on, Carter?" He was becoming more and more impatient.

"I think you should get down here. Sam was just brought in. She was in an accident." That was all Luka heard, he threw the phone in its receiver and was out the door. It didn't take him long to reach the ER. He quickly ran through the doors and ran to admit.

"Frank where is she?" He demanded. Abby came behind him.

"Luka, she's in trauma 1, but I don't-" He ignored her. All he could think of was getting to Sam, the women he loved. His Sam.

The sight before would haunt him for the rest of his life. Sam lay on the table with Kerry, Dubenko, Susan, and Neela all frantically shouting orders to Haleh, Chuny, and two other nurses he didn't quite recognize. He pushed open the doors with Abby close behind. She could see the hurt on his face. He was breaking right before her eyes. It was a terrible thing to witness.

"What is happening?" He begged for answers, his years as a doctor suddenly vanishing from his memory.

"She was in an automobile accident. Her liver was lacerated, and she has a perforated intestine. She's going to need surgery once we get her stable." Neela explained most sympathetically. Dubenko looked up at Luka, forgetting for a moment that the woman he was working on was the love of his life.

"You want to help? Tube her, her stats are dropping slowly." He asked ordering more o-neg.

"I don't think that appropriate. Chuny, take him outside." Kerry quipped in.

"NO!" Luka screamed, tears falling from his face. "I won't leave her!" He walked up to her face, trying his best to stay out of the way. He'd been here before, only the last time it was someone he didn't really care about lying on the table facing death. This was different. He caressed her face and whispered through the tears.

"Sam, please. Hang in there Sam. I love you." The staff could make out what he was saying. Abby wiped her eyes. She hated to see him like this.

"Luka she's down to 76 we need to tube her you have to leave." He moved out of the way reluctantly, but not before kissing her bloodstained forehead. He watched helplessly as they put a tube in the throat, put in chest tubes, squeezed in type specific blood, and worked on stabilizing her.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, they took her up to surgery. Luka followed and watched the surgery from behind the glass. He refused to leave her. Everyone from downstairs came up to see him and offer their prayers. He accepted them with a dead expression. All he could think about was the argument from earlier that day and what she must have been doing out that late. She was looking for me, he concluded.

Two hours later they emerged from surgery. Dr. Dubenko explained what they did and assured him that everything should be fine. Luka felt a wave of relief wash over him. They took her to recovery and he refused to leave her side the entire time. He wanted to be there when she woke up.

Finally she stirred.

A moan escaped her lips and his head shot up to look at her.

"Sam, honey, I'm here." He placed his hand over hers, afraid to touch her more and hurt her.

"Luka, what happened?" She whispered. He explained what happened through tear-filled eyes.

"Luka, please forgive me." She drifted in and out of sleep for the next few hours. Eight hours after the surgery she was finally awake enough to be coherent. He told her again what had happened.

"Luka, I was so scared. I thought I lost you." She was crying now. Her throat was still horse from the tube, but Luka could understand her. His heart was breaking. "I'm sorry." She whispered again.

"Sam, don't say that. I just needed to get out. I'm here now." Luka felt his voice breaking. "Cater called me. I decided to stay in a motel." He was talking to her. She closed her eyes. "I got here as fast as I could. I was terrified. I saw you on that table downstairs and all I saw was my wife and children dying before my eyes all over again, with me helpless to do anything about it. I couldn't loose you and I'm scared that I will. I love you so much Sam. You and Alex are my world." A single tear escaped his eye and she smiled.

"Luka-" She started to speak but he cut her off.

"Please, let me finish. I don't open up to you because my past is painful. It's hard for me to talk about it. These past eight hours, when I was still afraid you wouldn't make it, I told myself I would tell you everything. Anything you want to know, as painful as it may be for me." He was speaking through sobs. He placed his head on her bed next to her. His body was shaking and all she could do was watch. It was to painful for her to move.

"Luka, I love you. I'm so sorry. I love you." She whispered. He kissed her hand. He decided he needed to go find Carter. He needed to thank him for calling when he did.

"Get some rest; I'm going to go find Carter." She nodded and he kissed her forehead and got up to leave. Turning suddenly he declared again, "I love you" and left to room.

He ran downstairs and had no trouble finding Carter standing behind admit giving Morris a hard time.

"Luka, how is Sam doing?" He asked when he saw Luka approach.

"She's better, Out of the woods as you say. I just wanted to thank you for calling me." He tried his best to keep his composure.

"No problem. I'm just sorry we couldn't save the baby. I know how hard that must be for you two." Carter realized immediately that Luka didn't know she was pregnant.

"What baby? Sam was pregnant?"

"Oh, my God. You didn't know. Luka I am so sorry, I thought they told you upstairs. She was 13 weeks along and the damage she sustained caused her to miscarry." Luka's world was crashing down around him. She had told him the test was negative. Did she know all along. Does she know now?

His mind was reeling. He recalled the conversation they had had when he found the pregnancy test. She had told him she didn't want another child, that Alex was a mistake and she didn't want it to happen again. His heart was breaking but he let it go, bottling his emotions up causing another scar to form.

He walked slowly back upstairs to her room. She saw him enter and her eyes lit up. 'Either she didn't know or she knew and was happy she got away without me knowing.' He thought bitterly. Luka always dreamed of having children with her. Now that dream was gone.

"Sam, I talked to John." He looked hurt and angry. She looked at him with a puzzled expression. "He told me he was sorry that they couldn't save the baby. You told me you weren't pregnant! Why would you lie to me like that? You know how much family means to me!" He was yelling now. Her expression dropped.

"What?" He realized instantly that she was sincere. She had no idea. "I was pregnant? Luka how could you tell me like this?" She was furious and hurt.

"I thought you knew. You took the test. You told me two weeks ago that you weren't pregnant. I thought you'd lied to me because you didn't want this baby."

"Luka! I can't believe you. I may not have wanted another baby but I certainly would not have intentionally injured myself to terminate the pregnancy!" She was yelling as loud as her voice would let her. Tears streamed down her face. Suddenly she began to breathe heavily. "How…. Dare you accuse… me of that…" She said through gasps.

"Calm down Sam." Her monitors were beginning to ring, the SPO2 began to plummet. Doctors and nurses came rushing in, demanding to know what happened. He saw her eyes close and they placed an oxygen mask on her face to attempt to raise her stats without having to intubate her.

Luka couldn't watch anymore. He left the room and ran out of the Hospital. Everyone saw him leave and Abby immediately got on the phone to call upstairs to check on Sam. A nurse put her on hold, telling her she was being treated now. Carter raced out of the ambulance bay doors chasing after his fleeing friend.

"Luka! What happened?" He called but with no response. He went back inside to see how Sam was doing. Finally a doctor got back with Abby.

"She's stable but that man is not to come back here. The nurse said she heard him shouting at her from down the hall. Something about a baby." Abby thanked the doctor and hung up.

"What happened?" Carter asked.

"Luka found out about the miscarriage." She told him solemnly.

"I know, I told him." He responded.

"John!" Abby scolded.

"I figured they would have told him upstairs. I wasn't thinking." He said defensively.

"Well that's good because now Dr. Mathis has demanded that Luka stay away from Sam while she is recovering." She walked away from Carter, obviously disappointed.


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter is short and simple. Susan tries to talk some sense into Luka.

Chapter 3

Luka ran to the El and waited for the train that would take him back to his apartment. He didn't know if she was ok but he could only imagine that if she were he couldn't see her anymore. He didn't want to. He felt awful for accusing her like that and that his accusations caused her to go into respiratory distressed.

"I can't go back there. I can't hurt her." He repeated. He reached his apartment and slammed the door behind him. The radio in the bedroom was playing softly. He could barely make out the lyrics but he had heard the song before.

"…_If we made a big mistake._

_I tried to go on like I never knew you_

_I'm awake but my world is half-asleep_

_I pray for this heart to be unbroken_

_But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete."_

He sat down on the floor in the hallway, half way to his bedroom, and began to cry. Harder than he had since his family died in Croatia. There was a knock at his door. He tried to ignore the persistent pounding until he couldn't take it anymore. Finally, he rose to his feet and wiped off his face. Opening the door he was greeted but the presence of Susan Lewis.

"Luka, what happened?" She asked. Her voice sounded concerned and annoyed at the same time. It amazed him how only she seemed to be able to do that.

"I don't want to talk about it Susan." He walked away from the door and sat down on his couch placing his head in his hands. "How is she? Is she ok?" He was afraid to look at her.

"She's fine. She's asking for you but she has a protective watch over her room. Dr. Mathis has demanded that you not come back. Every nurse in the nurse's station heard you yelling at her. She didn't know she was pregnant Luka. I talked to her, she's very hurt. I've never seen her cry before." Susan sighed and walked over to him. "What were you thinking. You knew she was in recovery. You don't upset patients that are in recovery!" She was yelling at him now.

"I know Susan! I don't know what came over me. First I was afraid of losing her and then I heard she was pregnant." He sighed and finally met her glare. "I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago. She told me she was negative and that she didn't want to have children with me anyway. That Alex was a mistake and she didn't want to make another. How was I suppose to feel?" He demanded answers from Susan that he knew she couldn't answer.

Susan was in awe at the sight before her eyes. Luka was always calm and collected no matter what the situation. He'd never seen him break like this. Abby told her about how he looked in the trauma room when they brought Sam in. She was right, it was almost unbearable to see.

Suddenly, breaking the silence the song that was on the radio in the car yesterday came on again. Luka's emotions got the best of him and he ran into the bedroom and threw the radio against the wall. Susan jumped when she heard to crash of the stereo hitting the wall. She ran into the room.

"What was that about?" She asked. He didn't answer. "You need to seriously think about what you are going to do next. She has a long hard recovery ahead of her. You need to be there for that. Sam said that Steve was contacted and he agreed to take Alex while she is in recovery. She cried when she heard the news but agreed." Luka's expression changed from sorrow to anger.

"What? He is the last person that needs to be taking care of Alex!"

"Well unfortunately you weren't there to talk her into other arrangements. I'm sorry Luka but until she is out of the hospital, for Dr. Mathis relief, I have to suspend you." That news didn't come to a surprise to him. He also didn't care. He heard her walk closer to him and place her hand on his back.

"We are here for you Luka. You have friends that will help you and Sam through this but you need to get it together." She left quickly, slamming the door behind her.

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Vodka out of the cabinet. Forgetting a glass, he turned the bottle up taking a long drag hoping once again to drown his pain with alcohol.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At the hospital Sam was laying in bed with Alex sitting in the chair next to her. He was watching a wrestling exclusive on NBC. His worry for her was short lived once she told him that she would be fine. He promised he would stay with her as long as he could. Sam regrettably told him that he would be staying with his father in a hotel in downtown Chicago and he was more than overjoyed. The only reason she agreed to Steve taking him was if he promised to stay in Chicago.

Alex's concentration was interrupted but his mother sighing deeply. He looked over and saw tears running down her face.

"Mom, what's wrong?" She turned to face him and smiled.

"I'm ok kiddo. I need to talk to you though." He turned off the TV and faced her. "When I was having surgery to fix the damage done in the accident they realized that I was carrying a baby." She watched him look at her in disbelief.

"Am I going to have a brother or sister?" He asked scornfully.

"No, when they found her, she was already gone. The doctor came in and talked to me just a few minutes before you got here. He told me that it would have been a girl. You would have had a sister."

"Are you sad about the baby?"

"Yeah. A part of me wanted to keep it just you and me forever, but the thought of having a baby with Luka was very…" she couldn't finish her sentence.

"I'm sorry mom. I would have liked to have had a baby sister."

"I just wish Luka were here, but I guess it's better that he's not. He blamed me for the miscarry."

"We were fine without him when we got here, we will be fine without him now." Alex said. It amazed her how he could be so grown up sometimes. There was a knock at the door. For a moment her heart stopped thinking it may be Luka but she remember that it would be impossible. It was Susan.

"Hey Sam, Alex. How are you feeling?" She asked her.

"I'm better. Alex why don't you go to the waiting room and finish watching your show?"

"Ok." He gave her a hug and left the room so the two women could talk.

"So have you heard from Luka?" Susan asked.

"No, a part of me thought he may call or something but I haven't heard from him since he left the hospital. I saw the look on his face. He was hurt but I'm still so furious with him! How could he think that I-" Susan cut her off.

"Sam I don't want to be banned from your room now, please calm down." Sam smiled. "I should tell you I followed him home. It took him a while to answer the door and when he did he couldn't stop himself from crying. He's a mess right now. A song came on the radio and he threw it against a wall." Sam didn't know what to say. The behavior confused her.

"What song was it?"

"I'm not sure. I heard a few words. It was like 'The spell was broken and I have to go…' Something like that, I've never heard it before."

"The Power of Goodbye. It was on the radio yesterday when we were leaving the therapist's office. I think that song upset him. When we got home was when we had our fight." Sam was glad to have Susan there to talk to. It made her feel better.

"What are you going to do when you get out of here?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I want to go back to his apartment. I want him to come to me if he still wants to be with me. I'm to hurt by his reaction to make the first move. Susan, I didn't know I was pregnant. I was late with my period and it wasn't as heavy, but the test was negative."

"I know Sam, you don't need to convince me of that. Those things are never conclusive. If you need to I can make some room at my place for you and Alex too to stay. I think you two need some time to think about this. I know it doesn't seem right and you want him to be with you while you recover but I honestly think if you're not with him it will help a lot. I don't know if he can emotionally handle your recovery." Sam didn't want to admit it but she knew Susan was right.

"I know, but I can't impose on you and Chuck. Not to mention I don't think I can handle being around Cosmo. I really appreciate the offer though. You know Steve is going to take Alex for me for a while. I only have the option of going home to Luka."

"I hate to say to but, I don't approve. I'm going to see if I can find someone for you to stay with anyway." Susan was concerned about Sam. Her biggest fear was that she would go back to him and they arguments would begin again and cause her more problems then she already has. She knew Luka was a good person and loved her dearly but the way he acted at the apartment left many questions in the back of her mind about how well he would be able to take care of her. The knock at the door interrupted their conversation. It was Dr. Mathis.

"Hello Sam. How are you feeling today?"

"Sore, but all things considered I'm ok I guess." She tried not to let her depression apparent to the doctor. She knew it was a useless cause.

"I need to keep you here at least one more day but I wanted to go ahead and talk to you about your follow up care." Susan took that as her cue to leave.

"I'll be downstairs, I'm on in a few minutes anyway. Call me if you need anything." She smiled warmly at Sam and left the room.

"There is one thing that I think we should discuss now before you leave. I'm concerned about the damage to your uterus during the accident and the miscarriage." He noticed her wince when he said that. "I'm concerned that you might not be able to carry children again and I wanted to know first before I ran the tests, are you considering it." She was taken aback.

"I don't know. I told him I didn't want to but that was when I thought I wasn't pregnant. It's changed everything for me. I don't know for sure. I think he deserves children but … I just…" She couldn't find the words she wanted.

"It's ok, I just needed to know if I should run more tests the see if it were even a possibility. I'll run them anyway so you will know." Just as he was about to finish his speech when his pager went off. "I'm sorry. I've got to take this. I'll come back and check on you. I'll get those tests ordered in the mean time."

"Thank you." She sighed. The thought of never being able to choose to have children with Luka depressed her even more. Deep down she did want to carry his children and live happily ever after with him but now that just didn't seem to be a possibility. She finally disobeyed her own promised to not make the first move. She reached over and grabbed the phone, dialing the seven numbers to the apartment.

"Hi! This is Luka, Sam, and Alex. Leave a message and we'll get back to you." She remembered when she recorded that message. He jokingly told her that they were unofficially married now. She figured he was sitting in the apartment ignoring the world. She knew him very well.

"Luka, it's me. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I didn't know I was pregnant. This hurts me as much as it does you. Dr. Mathis asked me if I wanted to have children again so he could decide what tests to run on me before I leave. I told him…" he heard her sigh and her voice break. He began to cry again. He couldn't take it anymore. He picked the phone up.

"What did you tell him?" He asked

"I told him that you deserved a family… but I didn't know if I could give that to you. I was scared when I took that test two weeks ago. I'm terrified that I'm going to raise another baby by myself. I know you wouldn't leave us but you have to understand." She sounded tired.

"Have you slept at all?" He changed the subject. Typical.

"No, I haven't slept since you left. I think they are going to give me something soon. You are avoiding this again. Please, talk to me."

"What do you want me to say? I am sorry I accused you of knowing about it. It kills me that we lost our baby. I don't think I could go through with that again."

"Luka, you don't want to have children with me?" she sounded hurt.

"I don't want to feel the pain anymore. I love you more than I thought I ever could. I don't know what else to say."

"I guess that's all you can say."

"Sam, two weeks ago you're telling me you don't want to have children and now suddenly you want me to decide on the spot if I want to be a father again. Yes, I do. But I don't know that I can emotionally handle it. It wouldn't be fair."

"Ok." A nurse walked into her room. "I need to go. I love you." She hung up quickly. He looked at the phone for a moment, confused by what had just happened. Were they ok now or was she still mad at him?

Two week later…

Reluctantly, Susan let Sam leave the hospital with Luka. Things had been on edge since he took her home. She hated the fact that her son wasn't with her. She didn't say much but he could tell that was weighing heavily on her mind. He didn't talk much, small talk about work mostly and how she was feeling, but other than that things had gone back to the way they were.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Luka asked. He heard her move to get comfortable on the couch.

"Sure, did you rent one?" She answered back. She wondered what it would take for him to be like he was when she was in the hospital. He was emotional, open, and vulnerable. She loved that side of him. Now, he was back to the way he was. 'Was he still grieving over the baby. I know I am' she thought to herself on many occasions.

"I rented a couple. I didn't know what you were in the mood for. I got Resident Evil if you want an action/horror movie. The Notebook if you wanted a romance movie, and Saving Private Ryan for another action movie." He placed the three movies in front of her allowing her to choose.

"I don't like zombie movies and I've seen Saving Private Ryan five times to many with Alex around. He loves war movies. So I guess that leaves us with The Notebook. I'm sorry, I know it's a chick flick." She giggled slightly. It was weird. Since she had gotten out of the hospital every move she made seemed to hurt worse than when she was there. The pain was etched on her face. He was at her side in a second.

"Are you ok?" It was probably the tenth time he'd asked her today. She didn't mind his concern but it was getting annoying.

"I'm never going to tell a patient that having surgery is just an in and out procedure again." She tried to laugh it off but it was getting worse. The doctors gave her Loritabs for the pain but she tried to use them only when it became unbearable.

"Do you need anything?" She hadn't really moved from the spot on the couch since she had made it home. She didn't sleep in bed with him because it was to hard for her to move. Sure he had offered carry her to the bedroom and he would sleep on the couch but she refused to put him out, no matter how persistent he was. He finally realized it was a losing battle with her.

"I think I need my pain pills. My stomach fills like it's on fire." She was trying hard not to cradle her abdomen.

"OK." He kissed her forehead and got up to retrieve her medications. He was worried about her. He'd never seen someone recover from a surgery. He realized that this was normal but she was the love of his life and he hated to see her in pain. Anything he could do to make her more comfortable, he was willing to do. He decided long ago that he would die for her.

"I'm going to put the movie in." He quickened his pace. He hated when she decided to do things on her own. She was adamant about recovering as quickly as possible, being waited on hand and foot was not one of her favorite things, but he was terrified. She was so fragile.

"No, I'll get it. Just hang on a second."

"You know Luka, I'm fully capable of doing this myself! I don't need you to put a movie in the DVD player."

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself." Luka's concern was growing in his voice.

"I wont! I told you! I'm not a doll! I won't break!" He could hear the anger in her voice. She needed to calm down.

"Sam please, just sit down. You can't get so excited." He emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water and two pills. "Take these." He took the movie from her hands. She was angry but he knew she would get over it. Or so he thought.

"Fine." She took the pills and threw the rest of the water at him. He turned to her in shock. "I don't need help with everything! I may be in pain but if I don't get up and do something around here I'm going to go crazy! I've been sitting on that couch for a week. It's ridiculous. When you are at work I don't have you here to hold my hand while I get a drink of water and search the apartment for whatever you have done with the remote! I can move about on my own!"

"Sam, you had major surgery! You should be resting! The staples are still in!" He tried to move her back to the couch. This infuriated her more.

"I'm never going to get better if I can't do things for myself. I know you had to go back to work and I'm glad you did."

"Then let me take care of you when I get home. You can do things for yourself when I'm not here. Small things, but just relax. You're a nurse. You know how these things work." His voice was calming. She never could figure out how he seemed to make her anger disappear like that. 'Must be that voice and his damn good looks' she would tell herself.

"Fine." She slumped down on the couch trying her best to look like she was still pissed. He made a good argument. He put the movie in the DVD player and pressed play. Grabbing a blanket, he turned off the lights and placed it over her and settled down next to her.

The movie was sad to say the least. Sam watched intently as the old man continued telling the older woman the love story between two people that were swept off their feet in a summer romance. Sometime during the movie she painfully moved closer to Luka and put her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his. Luka looked down at her and smiled, again thanking God that she was still with him.

As the movie began to close Luka could hear Sam weeping silently. The older man in the movie was the young boy in the story he ran to the older woman, and she was the young girl. The story ended with Allie, the young girl, choosing Noah, the young boy, over the man her family approved of for her. The Noah was reading their story to Allie every day in hopes of her remembering him, even if for just five minutes. Luka was amazed that movies like this could make even him feel like crying. When they died together, in bed in the nursing home and the credits rolled Sam sat up slowly wiping her eyes.

"That was terrible. If I ever get like that I don't want to be put through that day in and day out." Sam concluded. "I've seen people come in the Alzheimer's and I never really think that that is what they may be going through, and that's what their family goes through." Luka kissed her forehead.

"I would do that for you." He said sincerely. "Even for just five minutes with you, I would do it." She watched him closely. She couldn't believe anyone would do that for her.

"Really?"

"Of course. I love you Sam. You are everything I have left in this world. When I thought my life was over, when I was ready to head back to Africa to the only place in the world I thought I was needed, you and Alex walked into my life and made me see everything differently. I haven't been this happy since I was living in Croatia with my wife and children." Sam was crying again.

"Luka." She wanted to hug him but he pain medication was wearing off.

"Wait right here. I'll be right back." He got up and left the room. She was confused but obeyed.

He walked back into the living room with a small envelope in his hands. He sat down next to her, a tear ran down his face. Sam didn't know what to think.

"Danjiela and I had been together since high school. After graduation I took her to a private place that she and I would go to talk. It was there that I asked her to marry me. I gave her a small ¼ carrot diamond ring that I couldn't afford. We were married soon after that." He opened the envelope and pulled out the ring. "When she died the coroner gave it back to me. My heart was broken. I placed it in the envelope and put it away. I didn't want to see it because it was a reminder of how my life was ruined. But now, I don't see things that way. I see this ring as a future that I now know for sure that I want. That I want to spend with you." She was speechless. She knew what was coming but after everything that they had been through she didn't know if she was ready for this.

"I want you to have it. I want to marry you, Sam. These past two weeks I've had a lot to think about. That phone call from the hospital when you told me you might not be able to have children again ripped my heart out of my chest again. The news that followed helped get me through this. I know you don't have plans to have children right now and that's ok, but now that we know it is possible it's something we can think about later on. Either way I know that I want you to marry me. Please, say you'll marry me Sam." He concluded his proposal. She was crying hard.

"Luka, I…I want to, but this seems wrong." His heart sank in his chest. "I don't think I can just yet." That was all he needed to hear. He had opened his heart to her and she denied him. It was the last thing he had expected to hear.

"Ok," He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry." He got up from the couch and began to walk back to his bedroom with the envelope.

"Luka wait. I don't think you understand."

"What is there to understand. You're not ready for this. I thought you were. I'm sorry." He again began his retreat.

"Are you going to give up so easily?" This made him stop and turn back to her.

"You want me to beg you to marry me. I already spilled my heart to you what more do you want? You wanted communication, I gave it to you. I've been there with you from the start. Every time Steve showed back up I was there for you when you needed me to be. I stopped him from taking your son away from you and now I have to live with the fact that he hates me for it, but yet I still want us to be a family. I don't know what else you want."

"I know, Luka, I do. Marriage is a huge step for us. I just don't know if its something we are ready for." Sam was doing her best to keep from jumping off the couch and running to him and embracing the man she loved so much, no matter how badly it would hurt her.

"That's all I needed to hear. I'll wait. Until you believe WE are ready." He turned back and went to bed closing to door behind him. His thoughts were running to wild for him to keep up with. He did all he could to fight off the sorrow that was consuming his heart, but it was a losing battle. He collapsed on the bed and cried. The first time since he brought her home. It would be a long night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It had been three months since the accident and Sam's recovery had progressed well. She had returned to work with the agreement that she would accompany small cases, no traumas. Luka, on the other hand, had returned to his emotionally enclosed ways. Since Sam had rejected him he didn't know how to act around her. She seemed depressed but tried to hide it with all she could so he acted as if nothing was wrong.

"Sam, can you get me some morphine for the patient in exam 1, he believes that aliens are going to take the creature that is growing inside of him when it is actually a tumor." Susan chuckled a bit, feeling a bit guilty for laughing at the man's misfortune.

"Yeah sure." She was in a daze. Susan had notice that it had been like this for quite some time now. She visited Sam often during her recovery and they developed a close friendship. She finally couldn't take it anymore.

"Once you do that will you meet me in the lounge, I want to show you some pictures from Cosmo's birthday party last week that I think you will enjoy." Susan lied. Sam nodded and headed for the medication.

Susan walked into the lounge to find Luka in there getting ready to start his shift. "Hey, how you doing?" She asked sincerely.

"Fine." His cold response sent a chill down her spine.

"Listen, Sam told me about what happened a few months ago. Ever since then she said that you have been distant, like you don't want to be around her. It sounds like everything isn't 'fine'." She was pushing him to answer her truthfully.

"Susan, I appreciate the bond that you and Sam have formed through her ordeal but that doesn't mean that I'm ready to play Dr. Phil with you right now." He snapped. Susan was taken aback by that. She hadn't heard him speak with anger in his voice quite like this since that night in his apartment.

"She does love you Luka."

"Thank you Susan, but my shift has started. I need to get out there." With that he left, but not before Sam walked into the room.

"Hey, you on?" She asked him?

"Yeah, better get to work." He smiled at her and rubbed her arm before walking out of the lounge ready to put his feelings in the back of his mind while listening to other peoples problems.

"What was that about?" Sam asked. Susan shrugged her shoulders. "So where are these pictures?"

"I lied, I wanted to talk to you about how you were doing."

"Sue, we talked about this last week. I told you I'm fine."

"Yeah, but I just talked to Luka and he seems to be a little more than irritable to say the least and I've seen the way you walk around here like a zombie. Should you take more time?" Susan asked her friend.

"No, I told you. I'm happy to be back at work. It gets my mind off things. About what happened between Luka and I."

"Maybe you should go back to the therapist. Get some advice on where you stand."

"I don't think I need some shrink telling me how to handle my relationship with my… well with Luka." Sam looked down at the floor.

"Okay, well I just thought I might offer my help." Susan headed for the door.

"I wanted to say yes to him so badly. I just don't think I am ready for marriage. It seems a huge jump from accusing me of deliberately miscarrying to asking me to be Mrs. Kovac. It just didn't seem right."

"Have you told him that?"

"I tired that night but he left the room, I didn't see him until he got home from work the next day. He didn't even wake me before he left." Sam sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands. "I don't know what else there is to do."

"Just try talking to him. I have to go, I'm sorry Sam." Susan walked out of the room leaving Sam alone to think about the scar that was just violently ripped open.

Luka pushed open to door to exam 2 to find a young woman there complaining of cramps that had been going on for over a month. He smiled warmly to her and introduced himself.

"I'm Dr. Kovac, how are you doing today Ms. Young?"

"Not to good, that was until you walked in." She smiled. "I've been having these really bad cramps, kinda like period pains, but they have been going on for over a month now. I've been taking Ibuprofen for the pain and at first it did help but then I had found myself taking 12 to 16 pills a day just to stay comfortable." She was trying to mask the pain that she was in. "Are you married?" She asked. When he didn't respond she spoke again. "I'm not either."

"Okay, we're going to run some tests and see what's going on with your pain." He pulled back her blanket and tried to palpate her abdomen. She screamed in pain when he touched her. "Chuney, can you order x-rays and a c-scan for me please. Also run a CBC, Chem panel and lytes." He handed her the chart and walked out the room.

"That doctor is very hot. I don't see how you get any work done around here." Chuney smiled and walked away rolling her eyes as she exited the room.

Luka headed to the board to sign himself up for another patient when he saw Sam heading out of the break room with tears in her eyes. He immediately went to her.

"Sam, what's wrong?" He put his hand on her face and she turned into his hand, thankful that he was there for that moment.

"I was just talking to Susan." Luka pulled back, irritation shown across his face.

"I wish that woman would just mind her own life and stop interfering in ours."

"She's just trying to help. I really think we need to talk after work. What time is you shift over?"

"I get off in an hour. You?"

"I've been off for a while. You know how it is. Even though I'm not on traumas I'm still getting the overtime." She smiled. "I'll call Teresa and see if Alex can stay there for a while. We'll go out somewhere. Anywhere."

"Okay. That sounds good. I'll see you in an hour then." He gave her a quick kiss and headed back to admit. She watched him leave and then retreated into the lounge to make some phone calls.

Back into the lounge, she picked up the phone and dialed the familiar numbers of Alex's best friends house. After two rings a young boy answered. Obviously, it was Perry.

"Perry, this is Sam, can I talk to Alex?"

"Sure," He handed the phone to Alex. She could hear him tell him who was on the other line.

"Hey mom, when are you coming to get me?"

"Hey kiddo, I wanted to talk to you. I'm going to come over there right now so we can talk about something, and if it's ok with Jason's mom, I'm going to see if you can stay over there for a little while. At least until I take care of a few things."

"What's going on?" He asked, sounding concerned.

"I'll be over there in a few minutes ok?"

"Ok." She hung up the phone and grabbed her jacket and quickly left the ER.

Just a few short minutes she pulled up to Teresa's home. She got out of the car and was greeted by Alex waiting for her.

"Mom, what's going on? We're not moving again are we?" He sounded disappointed. For once she could honestly tell him no.

"No kiddo, I wanted to talk to you about me and Luka. I want to know how you feel about him." She sat down next to Alex on the curb.

"He's ok, why do you ask?"

"Well, because three months ago he asked me to marry him." She waited for an outburst from her son. Surprisingly he was quite. "I told him that I didn't think we were ready for that. Since then I'm starting to think that I made a mistake. I wanted to know how you felt about that."

"You want to marry Luka. Would I have to call him 'dad'" Sam chuckled.

"No, but I wanted to know how you would feel about having a permanent father figure in your life, if I were to marry him. I know it's been just you and me for a long time but I think this would be good for us. I just don't want you to think that anything is going to change. You will always be my number one guy." She hugged her son.

"I know I can be kind of a jerk sometimes but I do want you to be happy. I love you mom." Sam was in awe. He son was no longer ten years old. He aged before her eyes, she began to cry.

"I love you too Alex. Are you ok with this? I'm not doing anything unless you are ok with this."

"Yeah, I like Luka. He's cool. He shows me a lot of neat things. I'm still kinda pissed that he didn't let me go with Dad, but I still like him. Don't tell him I told you that." He whispered the last sentence to her. She smiled.

"I wont as long as you promise me you wont cuss anymore." She grabbed Alex again and hugged him tightly. "I've got to go. Did you ask Jason's mom if you could stay longer?" He nodded. "She's ok with it?" He nodded again. "Ok well get inside it's freezing out here and you don't have your jacket on." He got up and ran inside, a smile grew on his face as he did. He liked the idea of having a stable family. "Don't forget to check your blood sugar!" she called after him.

Alex sighed. 'Moms" he thought to himself and closed the door behind him.

Sam got back in the car, reeling over the conversation she just had with Alex. He was ok with her and Luka getting married. 'But after what happened will he still want to marry me?' she asked herself. She would find out tonight.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Back at the hospital, Luka was nervous after tonight with Sam. She looked upset. He was more afraid of her leaving him than anything. He still loved her more than anything and still wanted them to be a family but she made that clear that that was not what she wanted right now.

He looked at the clock. 'Off in 15 minutes. With any luck a trauma won't come in' he thought to himself, returning that thought with 'but how often does that happen around here.'

Amazingly, nothing major happened with any of his cases, the patient with cramps turned out to have a ovarian cyst and was taken to surgery, but nothing critical came in that he was called into. Sam walked back into the ER and immediately caught Luka's gaze. He was handing off his cases to a very unqualified Morris, but he had no other choice. She smiled to him and motioned that she would be in the lounge waiting for him.

He finished with his cases and said his goodnights to the evening shift and headed for the lounge. His heart was racing. He had no idea what to expect about tonight but something in him told him that whatever it was it was going to change his life forever. He walked in and found Sam sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"Hey, how was your shift?" She asked breaking the silence.

"It was ok. Nothing major, just a woman with an ovarian cyst, a man that thought the mob was after him for getting shot by a 'black man in his twenties' and a baby…" he trailed off. He hated seeing infants, now more than ever, but he also hated talking to Sam about them. It reminded them both of the daughter they lost. She understood.

"You ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah, where did you have in mind?" He asked.

"Actually, I thought we could just go back to the apartment and talk. I have a lot I need to get off my chest." As if it were even anymore possible, Luka's heart began to beat harder. He nodded and got his coat out of his locker. When he was ready he grabbed her hand and headed for the door.

On the way to the apartment the car was filled with silence. Sam didn't know what to say or how she would say she needed to say to him. The whole way home she thought about how their conversation would go.

Luka, who was driving, also didn't know what to say. He chose to remain silent like he did in most situations. He absentmindedly flipped through the radio to find something decent on. He finally stopped on a station that he frequently listened to.

"Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right

I never stopped to think of you,

I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win.

You are the antidote that gets me by

Something strong like a drug that gets me high…

What I really meant to say,

Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so,

What I really meant to say

Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold.

Luka listened to the lyrics, he'd heard someone playing this song once in the hospital. One of the nurses brought a CD player to work and played a variety of songs for the people at admit. At the time it was a nice break from the screaming and complaining of patients. It seemed to keep the mood light. He looked over at Sam momentarily, she was nodding to the beat of the music. He liked this song. It seemed to fit somehow.

"Cold to you, I'm sorry about all the lies,

Maybe in a different life

You could see me stand on my own again

Cause' now I can see

You were the antidote that got me by

Something strong like a drug that got me high…

What I really meant to say

Is I'm sorry for the way I am

I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so,

What I really meant to say

Is I'm sorry for the way I am."

Sam listened to words of the song, humming quietly to herself. This was one of her favorites. She played her Crossfade CD a lot, but she had never heard this version before. It was acoustic and she liked it better.

"I never really wanted you to see

The screwed up side of me that I keep

Locked inside of me so deep

It always seems to get to me

I never really wanted you to go

So many things I should have known

I guess for me there's just no hope,

I never meant to be so cold."

Finally they pulled up to the apartment. Luka let the rest of the song play before he turned it off. Sam smiled in appreciation. She sang the last chorus. When the song was over they got out of the car and headed up to the apartment. He opened the door for her and they walked in, turning on the lights.

"You want something to drink?" He asked her.

"Yeah, do you have any vodka? I could kinda use a drink right now." She smiled at him. She was so nervous. Something to take the edge off sounded great. He laughed silently.

"You want it in coke like you like it?" he asked. Her favorite was vodka and coke. He never really knew why. He didn't like it that much. The coke deluded the vodka.

"Yeah, that's fine. You going to have anything?" She asked. She never liked drinking along.

"No, not right now. Maybe a little later." He made her drink and brought it to her. She was sitting on the couch waiting for him to return. He handed the drink to her and sat down on the couch beside her. "So what's up?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"I wanted to talk about that night," She looked down at her drink. 'the hell with it' she picked up the glass and took a drink. "The night that you asked me to marry you." She said. He looked down.

"What is there to talk about?" He asked. "You said you weren't ready for it." He stabbed her heart. She remembered that night like it was yesterday.

"I know, look Luka, I think I was wrong." His head shot up and he looked up at her. He was never more in love with her than he was at that moment. She was looking at him, ready to bear her heart and soul to him. She was beautiful.

"You were wrong?" He couldn't believe things had turned around like this. A few hours ago he was afraid that she was going to leave him. He thought that that was what this was for. She was going to tell him that her and Alex were leaving. That wasn't the case. She wanted to be with him. His heart was jumping.

"I talked to Alex today. He said that he liked the idea of having a father figure in his life. I was so concerned with how he would react to this that I had to talk to him first."

"It took you three months to talk to him about it. Sam I thought you didn't love me. I thought you were planning on leaving me. It broke my heart."

"I know, I'm so sorry Luka. I never wanted you to think that. I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone in my life other than my son. Everyday I think about you. I think about what hurts you, I think about what if something were to happen to you. I think about what would happen if I lost you. I don't know what I would do. I don't know what Alex and I would do without you. I want you to ask me again. If you still want to marry me ask me again."

"Sam," Luka sighed. "I meant what I said that night. I love you more than I ever thought I could. After Danjiela died I thought I would spend the rest of my life alone. I thought that God was punishing me for not being able to save my family." A tear ran down his face. "When I met you I didn't know what I did to deserve someone like you." He reached in his pocket and pulled out the ring. He looked at it for a long moment and then back at Sam. "I want to marry you Sam, I want to spend my life with you." He looked at her again, more confident than last time. He already knew what she was going to say. She smiled.

"Yes, Luka. I want to marry you." She was crying again. She seemed to do that a lot lately but she didn't mind it too much. He put the right on her finger and kissed her softly. She savored the moment. The kiss was soft but the passion was there. She pressed her lips against his harder, deepening the kiss. She heard him moan softly.

Luka was amazed. He was engaged to marry her. For the first time since in Croatia he felt like he was about to scream in complete joy. When she intensified the kiss he learned her back on the couch so he was lying above her. The air around them was electric. He couldn't remember a time that kissing her felt this great. It was all he could do to keep control of himself. He wanted it to be right. He would let her decide what would happen. Her hands made their way under his shirt and across his back. His mind was racing as well as his pulse. The last thing he remembered that night was the feel of her hands undoing his belt buckle. The rest of the night was clouded in his mind by an exotic haze


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

He awoke three hours later in bed with the sheets wrapped around his waist. He looked over to find Sam gone. He sat up in the bed, trying desperately to regain himself. Once his eyes focused to the darkness of the room he saw a note lying on her pillow.

"Dear Luka,

I had to go pick up Alex. He called, Teresa wanted to know when I was coming to get him. I'll tell him everything on the way home. You looked too peaceful to wake. I'll be home soon. If you read this before I get home, go back to bed. I'll be back in your arms soon. I love you.

Sam"

Luka smiled. His memory was real. She was going to marry him. It wasn't just an amazing dream that he had had so many times over the last few months. He lay back down and felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He smiled thinking about why he was so tired. He closed his eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

Sam had just pulled up to pick up Alex. She was going to go inside and talk to Teresa, when Alex came running out the door saying bye to his friend. She figured he must have been tired. 'I know I am' she thought to herself with a smile.

"How was your night Alex?" She asked him as he got in the car.

"Fine. Jason got Grand Theft Auto Vice City on Playstation and we were playing it all night. We found all the codes and got to blow things up. It was cool."

"You know I don't like those games." She shot him a disapproving look.

"I know but it was so cool!" Alex began to ramble on about the game and how you could blow helicopters out of the air with a rocket launcher and other extremely violent features when she finally had to cut him off.

"Hey Alex, you remember what we talked about earlier today?" She asked him. He nodded to her.

"About You and Luka?" He asked.

"Yes. Well, tonight we talked about a lot of things like you, and the accident, and his life in Croatia, and…" She trailed off, smiling to herself about how it happened. "He asked me to marry him again. I said 'yes' this time." She waited for a response from. Silence filled the car, a very uncomfortable silence for that matter. "Alex say something. This afternoon you were excited about this. Now you're not saying anything." She pleaded with her son to open up to her.

"I just didn't think that it would happen so soon. When are you getting married?"

"I don't know yet kiddo. We didn't really talk about that just yet." She answered honestly. 'we didn't talk about anything much after that.' She thought to herself.

"Then what did you talk about? I mean I was over there for like ten hours!" Alex began to exaggerate. She could always tell when he was doing that because the tone of his voice would raise to annoyed wine that a 10 year old usually had.

"We'll talk about the details together ok. I want you to play a big part in this wedding. I don't want you to think that I'm forgetting you ok. Remember what we talked about earlier today?" He nodded. "Ok, we're almost home. Be quite when you go in Luka went to bed before I left."

"I bet he did" Alex muttered under his breathe. He might have been 10 years old but he wasn't stupid. He knew what had happened tonight between his mother and Luka. He'd heard enough kids talk about it in school and sex-education was a very popular, though controversial, subject in his school.

Sam heard him but chose not to acknowledge the remark. Alex was a smart ass, she'd known that since he was two years old. She didn't want to fight with him. Tonight was the best night of her life. She wanted it to stay that way. . Alex turned on the radio. She blocked out the song that was playing. It was some rap song. She never did take to rap.

Finally, as the song ended they pulled up to the apartment.

"When we get upstairs take your blood sugar then go to bed ok? It's late and you have school tomorrow." Sam said, a motherly tone in her voice.

"I know mom, geez." Alex muttered running up to the building.

Once they walked in the apartment Alex ran strait to his room. She heard him turn his radio on and shut the door.

"Keep it down! Remember what I told you!" She said softly against the door. Luka walked up behind her.

"Don't bother, I'm awake. I got your note. I just couldn't fall back asleep." He had a sheepish grin on his face.

"What are you smiling about, as if I don't already know?" She asked walking over to him, right into his welcoming arms.

"You, of course" He kissed her softly. "I missed you. Did you talk to him?" Sam nodded smiling slightly. "What did he say?"

"He was shocked that it happened this fast." She pulled him back into the bedroom. "I told him that we didn't plan anything without him and it would be awhile before we did get married." She said taking off her shirt to change into her pajamas. Luka watched her intently.

"Why would it be a while?" He asked. He remembered when he and Dani were married. It took only two months from when he proposed to her to be married.

"Well, it depends on how you want to do it. Do you want a big wedding with my family and yours and our friends or do you want something small?" She asked walking back over to him, now feeling completely comfortable in the clothes that she was in.

"You and Alex are my only family" He declared, looking down at the floor sadly. 'Shit! Way to go Sam.' she berated herself.

"I'm sorry that's not what I meant… I mean…" He stood up from his spot on the bed and pulled her into a hug.

"It's ok. I know, it's however you want to do it, just as long as at the end of the day I can call you Mrs. Luka Kovac." He said smiling at her, kissing her forehead. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too. Let's go to bed." She said as she pulled away from him to fix the mess that they had made of the bed earlier. She was becoming accustomed to smiling this much as the memories of earlier tonight washed over her mind chain reacting yet another enormous grin to spread across her face.

He disrupted her efforts to fix the bed and pulled her down so that she was wrapped safely in his arms. She laughed lightly and did her best to get as close to him as possible. After just a few minutes they both drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

The next morning Sam woke to find the spot next to her on the bed empty. She realized, after a few moments of sleep endused confusions, what had actually stirred her. The banging of pots and pans in the kitchen could only mean one thing: Luka was cooking breakfast.

She walked into the kitchen and placed her arms around his waist. "Hey you," she whispered in his ear. He turned and gently kissed her forehead. She looked over at the clock on the microwave and groaned loudly, sitting down at the kitchen table. It was 6:30. She had to be at work in an hour and a half.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Work, I'm on at 8." She put her head on the table. "Tell them that I'm in an alcoholic endused coma!" Luka laughed and placed his culinary accomplishment on the table in front of her.

"Eat, it's my first attempt at blue berry pancakes, I thought Alex would like them. Should we wake him up?" Luka asked sitting down at the table beside her.

"No, it's Saturday, let him sleep. You're off today right?" She asked.

"Yea, I thought I'd just hang around the apartment, maybe talk to Alex a bit about the wedding."

"Don't push it on him. He might not what to talk about it with you."

"Why not?" Luka was confused.

"It's just that he hasn't completely warmed up to the idea to me yet. He says he ok with it but I just don't want to push him." Sam knew her son. Nothing was ever expressed to his complete honesty. "I'm going to get in the shower. Breakfast was great." She got up and left Luka to think about what she had just said. Once again, he was at a total loss as to what to do next.

When Sam left for work, Alex emerged from his bedroom and lay down on the floor in front of the TV. Luka walked out of the kitchen and observed his future stepson and his habits.

"Alex, I've got blue berry pancakes, you want any?" He asked. Alex looked up from the TV and his eyes lit up.

"Sure!" He exclaimed, jumping to his feet and running into the kitchen. Luka began to head into the bathroom to take a shower when he heard a knock at the door. Before he could turn around to get answer it he heard Alex jump from the table and scream "I got it!" Luka smiled, and continued his retreat. The next sound he heard would hit him like a dagger to the heart. His blood ran cold and he stopped dead in his tracks.

He heard the door open and Alex yell, "DAD!"


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you for all your reviews. I'm really enjoying writing this story and I hope you enjoy reading it.

Brandy

Chapter 8

Luka silently thought to himself, 'Why me?' over and over again. Just when things were turning around, when he and Sam were finally happy, Steve walked back into their lives. He knew what he was there for. It was either to hide out from someone or look for a place to stay and an excuse to get back into Sam's life.

"How's she doing?" Steve asked, once he was sitting on the couch. Luka had told Alex to go take a shower, with the promise that he would let Steve stay.

"She's doing great, her recovery is just about complete. Why has it taken you so long to come check on her? And on Alex?" Luka asked with an annoyed tone to his voice.

"I wanted to, but-" Luka cut him off.

"I don't want your excuses. I don't even care why you're here. But, I just don't want to see anything happen to Sam or Alex. They are a part of my life and I'll be damned if I'll let you do anything to hurt them!" Luka said through gritted teeth. He was doing his best to keep his voice down but to still sound as pissed off as he could.

"What's your deal doc? Alex is my son and Sam…" Steve didn't know what to call her. He could see the anger in the man's eyes in front of him. He didn't know his story but he hated the man. He took his Sam.

"Sam and I are together and will be for a long time. I don't want you here. You need to tell Alex that you have to leave and get out of here before she comes home." Luka said, standing and grabbing Steve's coat from the closet.

"I just got here, I think I have the right to see my son and my girlfriend." Steve knew he was pushing it. Alex ran back into the living room before Luka could respond. He was disgusted.

"Dad, what do you want to do today?" Alex asked plopping himself down on the couch next to his father. He looked over and saw Luka standing by the door holding his father's jacket. "Luka, I thought you said he could stay." Luka didn't know what to say. He placed to jacket back in the closet and closed the door, walking towards the hallway. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard what Alex said next.

"Hey dad guess what! Mom's getting married." Alex's voice was completely enthusiastic about dropping the bomb on Steve. Maybe Sam was right. Alex wasn't ready for this. 'I'll never be his father. He'll never be ready' Luka thought. He turned around and leaned himself up against the doorway to the entrance of the living room.

"Married?" Steve asked. He looked up at Luka, a fire blazing in his eyes. "I take it you're the lucky groom." Steve said sarcastically. Luka nodded.

"Yeah, it happened last night. Mom's really happy." Alex continued.

"Alex, maybe this is something that is better left for later." Luka said trying to get the subject off their engagement.

"No I think now is a great time." Steve got up from the couch and walked up to Luka, getting right in his face. "That's why you want me to leave, so you can take my family." Steve accused.

"You have to be there for them to call yourself part of the family." Luka shot back, keeping his composure. It was all he can do to keep from slugging the man that stood in front of him.

"You bastard!" Steve exclaimed. He drew back like he was going to hit Luka, anger boiling inside of him. Suddenly, Alex jumped from the couch and grabbed his fathers arm.

"Dad! What are you doing?" Alex screamed. Luka was surprised.

"I think it's time you leave Steve."

"Fine," He agreed in defeat. He headed for the door and grabbed his jacket forcefully. "This isn't over. I will not let her go without a fight." Steve walked out the door slamming it behind him. Alex looked up at Luka.

"What was that about?" Alex asked.

"I don't think we've seen the last of your father." Alex sighed. He loved his father and he did remember hearing the fights between him and his mother but he had never seen his father lash out that way. Of course there was the fight that he saw between Luka and his father, but he had only seen Luka drawn back ready to strike, not his father. "You ok?" Luka asked.

"Yea, I'm going to go back to my room now." Alex replied, retreated back down the hallway.

"Shit." Luka muttered, dropping his body down on the couch to think about what had happened. He needed to warn Sam.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Hey Sam, I need your help. We've got a MVA rolling up. Five year old that was pinned in the back seat of a car for over an hour, we're going to need all the help we can get." Pratt called over his shoulder.

"I'll be right there." She said. "This will be just a quick poke and then it will all be over." She whispered to her young patient, a nine year old girl with leukemia.

"You promise you won't hurt me?" She pleaded. "The last person stuck me like 500 times before getting anything. It hurt." She was terrified.

"I'm really good, I promise. If I don't get it the first time I'll let you try it on me okay?" Sam smiled and the little girl laughed. Her laugh made her think about her daughter. 'Is that what her laugh would sound like? Would she be terrified of needles? Would she have been healthy?' She asked herself. Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind, she placed the truncate on the little girl's arm and pushed the needle directly into the vein gently. The little girl sighed.

"You did it!" Her mother walked over to her and smiled at Sam.

"Thank god, I didn't want to go through our last experience all over again. She was screaming and crying. It was awful." Sam smiled warmly to the mother who was comforting her daughter. "Do you have any children?" The woman asked.

"Yes, I have a son and he's diabetic. I have a small pinprick of an idea of what you are going through. I need to send this off. Do you need anything sweetie?" She asked.

"No, thank you." Sam marveled at how polite the little girl was. She walked back to admit to fine Jerry sitting in a chair reading a trashy article about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

"Hey Sam, have you been following this story?" Sam stifled the laugh as best she could.

"I didn't know you were the celebrity gossiping type."

"Only when it comes to Ms. Jolie. I swear one day I will marry her." Jerry looked up as if he were imagining what his life would be like married to her.

"Would you have matching blood vials and everything?" Sam asked trying to sound as serious as possible. That was useless because as soon as the words left her mouth she was laughing.

"Maybe," Jerry said obviously lost in his own world. Kerry came up behind him and slammed down the charts she was carrying causing Jerry to jump out of his seat.

"Damnit Jerry! If you don't answer the phone soon I'm going to kick your ass out and replace you with the drunk in four, he might actually get some work done around here!" Sam laughed and finished filling out the paper work to send off the lab with the blood samples from the girl. She heard the phone finally stop ringing and Jerry answer.

"Hey Sam, it's for you. You're Croatian lover is on the phone." Sam snatched the phone from Jerry and slapped him in the back of his head. She heard him mutter something about harassment on the job as he walked away from her, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hey Luka, what's up?" She asked, delighted to hear from him.

"Sam, I think you need to know something." Luka responded his voice tense and serious.

"What's wrong? Is Alex ok?" Sam was suddenly extremely concerned.

"Yeah, he's fine. He just actually stopped me from getting a blow to the face." 

"What are you talking about?"

"Steve was here. Alex told him about our engagement. He was less then enthusiastic to say the least."

"Oh, my god. What did he want?" Sam left the blood rush from her face and her world start to spin.

"I think he wanted to see Alex. He threatened me, told me that you and Alex were his and he drew back to hit me, in front of Alex. Alex interveined thankfully. I wasn't looking forward to defending myself in front of Alex." Sam could not believe what she was hearing. A part of her was happy that what happened between Luka and Steve happened in front of Alex. She wanted her son to see what kind of a person his father was. The other half of her, however, wanted nothing more then to shelter her son forever from the monster that lingered in the shadows of both of their lives.

"I can't believe this." It was all she could say. She was always amazed at how Steve would show up just when her life seemed to be heading in the right direction. Luka waited silently on the other line. "I don't want him around Alex." She finally managed to say.

"Consider it done. I'm sure he's still wanted by the police. I could make a few calls..." Luka was interrupted.

"I don't want to see him arrested, I just want him away from my son." Sam said protectively.

"Sam, the man is insane! He needs to be locked up before he kills someone." Pratt ran by admit, pushing a gurney screaming orders to everyone around him. He noticed Sam was on the phone.

"Hey, Sam! Today if you don't mind!"

"Luka, I've got to go. I'm going to see if I can get someone to cover and we'll talk about this. I love you." She hung up the phone quickly and followed the trail of people into Trauma 1. Pratt was busy giving orders.

"OK, I need a Chest and Pelvis, CT, CBC, Chem Panel, dip a urine and get Neuro down here!" Sam wrote the orders on the chart and dashed to the phone and called the designated departments. "Shit, decreased on the right, someone get me a chest tube tray!" Pratt screamed. Sam watched from the sidelines, as she pressed the familiar numbers to neurosurgery, as the med students jump at Pratt's demands. The student seemed confused as to were to go. She needed to be off the phone and helping. Med Students are not nurses.

"You! Take the phone." She threw the phone to the pacing lab coat and ran to the shelf that cradled the much needed chest tube. She set the drape on the tray and wheeled it over to Pratt. Suddenly they were joined by Weaver.

"How you doing in here?" She asked, examining the situation. Another nurse walked up behind her and put a drape over her body. She reached in a box to her side and grabbed a pair of gloves, pulling them over her small hands.

"Five year old girl, pinned in a car for over an hour. Chest pain, loss of consciousness at the scene, decreased breathe sounds on the right. I'm putting in a chest tube now." Pratt informed his superior, silently thankful that Kerry walked in when she did. He didn't know if he could handle these med students anymore. "I had to intubate her." He added.

"Alright. What's been ordered?" Sam took the opportunity to speak up. She repeated the orders as Kerry walked over to the little girl on the gurney.

"Sam, can you find out from the police if her parents are alive? We need to find out this girl medical history? She's got scarring on her abdomen." Kerry noted pulling back the blanket that covered the patient.

"Sure" Sam ran out of the trauma room and headed towards the admit desk, searching for the officer that came in with the little girl.

"Jerry, did you see where that cop went?" She asked.

"Yeah, He's outside. He got a call." She thanked Jerry and ran outside, spotting the man immediately. He was at the entrance of the ambulance bay talking on his cell phone, staring at Doc Magoo's. She began her way over to him when she felt someones arms wrap around her waist and up to cover her mouth. Her eyes looked around her and she quickly noticed that no one was paying attention. She was thrown into the back seat of a parked car with such force that she slammed her head against the opposite door, knocking her completely out.

The man looked around. Satisfied that no one saw what he had just done, he got in his car and drove off. He smiled as he drove past the cop and watched as the world he just left became smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. He turned around and looked quickly at his prize. "It's you and me again baby." he said, smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

Luka was getting worried. Sam said she was going to come home early to talk about Steve. It had been over two hours ago. He knew that life at County General ER was hectic, but he had yet to even have a phone call from her. He was just about to call her again when his phone rang. 

"Sam?" He asked answering the phone.

"Luka, It's Kerry." 'Shit' He thought to himself.

"What is it Kerry?" He asked, annoyance evident in his voice. He'd ask to talk to Sam once he was finished getting whatever reprimand he had no doubtingly deserved.

"Luka, Sam has been kidnapped." Kerry said softly. Luka exploded.

"What? What happened?" He demanded, jumping from the couch and gathering his keys and cellphone.

"We don't know. You should get over here." He didn't wait for anything else. He threw the phone on the couch and ran to Alex's room.

"Alex we need to go! Now!" He screamed through the door. He emerged, confused and startled.

"What's going on?" Luka grabbed his arm and headed for the door.

"We've got to go to the hospital." His original plan was to take Alex to his friends house, shelter him from the knowledge of his mothers abduction, but then he realized that he may have a way of contacting Steve. It wasn't confirmed but Luka knew it was Steve that had her.

"What's wrong? Is mom ok?"

"Alex we need to go." Alex flung his arm free and stopped in the doorway.

"NO! Tell me what's wrong!" Luka turned and looked at the frightened child.

"She's gone. You're father took her, we need to get there now." Alex's eyes widened and he followed Luka out the door quickly. The drive to the hospital was quick. Luka broke almost every rule of the road to get to County at record time. Ignoring the fact that the majority of the ambulance bay was taped off, he pulled his car to a stop by the basketball goal and jumped out of the car,  
Alex mimicking his movements.

The two ran in the ER doors and up to Jerry, who was talking to police about being the last person to see her.

"Luka!" Kerry yelled over the heads of people. She limped briskly up to the man that looked shattered and lost. She was about to speak when she noticed Sam's son's presence. "You shouldn't have brought him here" She whispered.

"He may know how to get a hold of Steve."

"You think he did this?" Kerry had heard about him. Frank had tried to do everything he could to have him thrown back in jail. At the time she had just told him to get back to his job, that he was no longer a cop, but now she regretted it deeply. Luka was silent. "You need to tell the police that." Luka nodded and walked over to one of the officers who seemed to be reading his notes over and over again.

"Are you working on the case?" He asked. Alex was still standing right at Luka's side. Luka hadn't noticed but Alex's hand was gripping his own.

"Who are you?" The officer asked suspiciously.

"My name is Luka Kovac, I'm her fiance, this is her son Alex." He explained. The officers expression dropped to one of sympathy.

"I'm sorry. I'm Officer Douglas, I'm working on the case." He said proudly.

"Well, where is she?" Luka demanded.

"We don't know. All we know from a patient upstairs that was looking out the window when the attack happened is that it was an old blue mustang, probably an 73' or a 74'. She was picked up and thrown into the car and the driver left. That's all we know." The officer concluded, his pride disappearing with his lack of information.

"Steve." Luka simply said. Douglas' head shot up and he grabbed his notes, ready to wright.

"Who is Steve?" Luka began to feel the affects of the stress. He walked into the lounge and sat down. When he began to move, he realized the tight grip that the child had on his strong hands. He looked down and tightened his grip slightly, reassuringly.

He released his grip on Alex and sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. The officer followed close behind.

"Who is Steve?" He repeated.

"It's Alex's father, He came by our home today threatening me and telling me that Alex and Sam were his after he was informed of our engagement." Alex looked down, ashamed. Luka went on. "I called Sam and told her that he was here to warn her and she advised me to not call you..." The officer looked puzzled. "He's wanted." Douglas nodded. "She was going to come home early so we could decide what to do about his return. I was waiting for her when I got the call." A tear fell from his face. Douglas began scribbles down his notes.

"Do we have anyway of contacting this man?" He asked.

"When I was staying with him when mom was in the hospital he gave me a cell phone number to reach him at." Alex dug in his back pocket and pulled out a small wallet. He fished through the contents until he found what he was looking for, a small yellow piece of paper with some numbers scribbled on it. The officer took the paper from Alex with a huge grin on his face.

"I'll get this to the station so we can check the number." Luka stood up quickly.

"NO, I want to call him now! If that is his number he'll be expecting a call from someone. Let it be me" Alex jumped in.

"He's my dad!" Alex exclaimed. The men stopped short and looked at the boy. They knew what he meant, and he had a point.

"Alright, let him call. But I want to be listening" Douglas said.

"So do I." Luka growled. Douglas was about to protest but he knew it was useless. This man had anger in his eyes and fear in his heart. Nothing was going to stop him.

"Let's go," He motioned to the two of them as he walked from the lounge and to the Mobile crime lab.


	11. Chapter 11

Just wanted to say thank you to all the wonderful feedback I've been getting. I hope you continue to enjoy my story. This was a short chapter I wrote at work one day when I couldn't talk on the phone. Poor me... lol Anyway Enjoy and Review! 

Outside the entrance to the ER sat the Mobile crime lab. Alex's eyes widened when he saw the inside of the huge vehicle. It looked like the inside of a movie set, people hurrying around, looking for his mother, talking into headsets, and shouting ordered at the monitors.

Officer Douglas climbed into the back of the unit and turned around, reaching for Alex's hand to help him up. Alex took it graciously and Luka followed close behind him.

"Now when you call this number act calm and collected. We don't want him to think that we are tracing the call or anything. For all he should and will know is that you are just calling him to ask him where he is and if he has seen your mom." Douglas looked at the small boy who's eyes were scanning the room that they were standing in. "You sure you want to do this kid?" Douglas asked.

"I'm not a kid and he's my father." Alex said, very maturely. Douglas nodded and pulled a chair out for Alex to sit down in. He signaled for silence as he set up the equipment to do it's job. Luka watched, helplessly.

"Ok," Douglas said, after what seemed like a lifetime. "We're ready." Alex nodded and picked up the phone. He dialed the numbers that were delicately written on a small piece of paper. After just a few short rings the obvious voice of his father answered the phone, much to the officer's surprise.

"Hello" The muffled voice said.

"Dad? It's me! Where are you?" Alex asked. "I thought we were going to hang out today." He said, a pouting expression on his face. Luka was amazed that Alex was able to pull off the act so well.

"Hey kiddo, I'm sorry but I've had something come up. I'm not going to be able to make it. You'll have fun with Luka until I'm able to come pick you up." Luka, who was listening on his own headset, winced at the offending words.

"Where are you? Maybe I could come meet you." Alex said, hopefully.

"I'm a long way away for a little boy to walk, Alex. I need to take care of something. Wait for me ok kiddo" Without waiting for a response the line went dead. Luka was in shock.

"What does he mean he needs to take care of some things. We have to find her!" Luka exploded. Douglas ignored his outburst and turned to his other officers, demanding to know if a trace on that line was successful.

"Give me a minute! I'm working on it!" Another officer shouted. Luka ran from the truck and jumped out into the ambulance bay, Alex hot on his heels.

"Luka, are they going to find her?" Alex asked, his eyes rimmed with tears.

"Yea, buddy. They will find her." Luka said, not believing his own words.

Officer Douglas ran out to the two figures that stood quietly together, looking like two lost souls. His excitement jumping across his face.

"Dr. Kovac, we've got a location!" Luka's heart jumped as he ran back to Douglas. "They're on the city's border, close to the Kennedy Expressway. Our guess is that he is headed to I94 going west. We're sending all available units to that area." Douglas said, proud that he may have broke the case.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey! Sorry it's taken me a while to post. I've got an X-files story that's kind of engrossed me but I'm writing two chapters here now so the next one should be up sooner rather than later. Not to mention that but I'm getting a promotion at work so that kind of has me tied up as well. Thanks to all the kind words of encouragement to get me to post another chapter. Tear I didn't think anyone cared! JK but thanks anyway! Oh and I know this is short but I'm hoping to make the next chapter a bit longer. Maybe there is a reunion in their future… but then again… maybe not. g

Ayame

Bodies were rushing around erratically. Chaos was event everywhere you looked. Police officers were shouting orders to each other while a crowd that had formed watched helplessly from the entrance to the ambulance bay wondering what the commotion was about.

Luka couldn't help but feel a sudden wave of incompetence rush over him as he realized there was nothing he could do to help the situation. Alex stood by his side, waiting patiently for any sign of life from the man that he trusted with his life at that moment.

"Luka?" His small voice squeaked. Luka snapped out of his state of self pity and looked down at the boy. His reaction spoke louder than words. "What's going to happen now?" He was looking for reassurance that Luka didn't know if he could provide.

"They are going to find her. I promise you, Alex." He tried to sound reassuring but his voice betrayed him. Alex detected every bit of it.

"Dr. Kovac! We've got road blocks set up around the area where the trace originated from. If he's there we will find him." Douglas's smile faded into sympathy and stood close to the terrified doctor. "I think it would be best if you two stayed here. We will contact you with any further information." Fear rushed into his eyes.

"What? No, I want to be there when they find her. I need to be there." His words were harsh and piercing.

"I'm sorry; I just don't think it's a good idea. This is a very traumatic experience for the both of you. We need you to stay here incase of course if his tries to contact the hospital. He will know where to look for you and we don't need anything or anyone out there that might jeopardize the search." Douglas didn't wait for a dispute from the two bodies. He turned and jumped into his car and sped off towards the Kennedy Expressway.

Across town…

Sam awoke slowly, taking in her surroundings. Her mind tried to process the series of events the best she could remember. 'There was a trauma, I went to find the officer that took him in and then…' Realization kicked in and she sat up quickly and knew instantly what had happened.

"Steve, what the hell are you doing?"

"Hey baby, nice to see you join the land of the living." His remark was brutal. "How's your head?"

"They will find me." She spat.

"Don't flatter yourself sweetie, they don't even know you're gone. By the time we get to our destination they will just be calling the police to file a missing persons report."

"What the hell makes you think that?"

"Because I just got off the phone with our son and he asked when I was coming to get him for our afternoon out. He doesn't know and neither does he." Anger was evident in his voice. Sam was speechless. She sighed heavily and slumped back against the seat. For the first time in her life, she was really terrified.

The drive continued on in silence as she contemplated every scenario for her escape. Nothing, however, seemed to be reasonable and all ended with him more then likely killing her. She thought of Luka. 'Does he even know? Is he looking for me?' These questioned plagued the back of her mind over and over again like a broken record. The mind was violently jolted back to reality by Steve's curses.

"Shit, Shit!" She eyes darted up as hope swam though out her body. They had set up road blocks. They did know she was gone and they were looking for her. At least she hoped. She watched two officers point to the vehicle and surrounded it quickly with guns drawn.

"Get out of the car now!" They demanded. Steve fear was erased by a smile that formed on his lips. Before she could scream for help she felt the car lurch forward and slam into the car ahead of them. This action sent the police running.

At the hospital…

Luka stood next to a cruiser listening to the scanner. He was desperate to hear anything. Just when he was about to give up he heard shouting coming from the speakers.

"We've got him but he's trying to run! She's in the car! We need back up and a bus ASAP! We're on the Expressway!" Without thinking Luka ran to his car with Alex hot on his heels. He was determined to be there when they found her. He had to know if she was ok.


End file.
